Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've
been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I
shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go
into the house, I sneak up the stairs,
I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease
into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says,
"Well, you're obviously taking the wrong
approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw
my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say,
'How about a bl0wjob?'... and she's always sound asleep."
A woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I
never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right too. I have no
desire at all." The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a
visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his
office. "Those pills were great Doctor, I'm doing it twice a night now,
sometimes even three times." "That's wonderful," said the doctor, "What does you
husband say now?" "I don't know, Doctor," she replied. "He has been away on a
business trip for the past two weeks."