why do sharks circle you before they attack ?

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken
ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam
to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."
And they did.

"Now we eat everybody."
And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat
them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shiit inside!"

Why Are The Bad Girls So Hip?





I will forever root for the Princess, but it would be unfair to deny these epic evildoers their fair share of credit for the success of the stories.

Angelina Jolie's Last Look For Salt

When I wrote up on Ange earlier, I hadn't realized her "Salt" promo was ending so soon, which is a pity, as I was loving the roll she was on. If I had waited a few hours, I would have caught her last look. Berlin Premiere: Max Azira Dress

I think this, along with her Pamella Roland look, might just be my favorite of all her looks on this tour. Why? Because she exudes confidence, poise, and grace (as usual) I love her hair with this look, and, let's face it, there's something about Angelina Jolie in black that just WORKS.

Darwin Awards for Stupidity

The Darwin awards are awarded annually for the most extreme act of (occasionally terminal) stupidity - they are now in for 2004.

RUNNER-UP The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

RUNNER-UP A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space for her car. Understandably, he shot her.

RUNNER-UP After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

RUNNER-UP An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

RUNNER-UP A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which he clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)

RUNNER-UP The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

DARWIN WINNER, 2003. When his 38-caliber Revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber William Mcford did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Style Crush: Dasha Zhukova


Dasha Zhukova is another super stylish, super young, super cultured, super cool, young Russian entrepreneur and socialite. Sports fans might know her as just the ex-girlfriend of former tennis ace Marat Safin, or the current girlfriend of Roman Abramovich (the owner of Chelsea Football Club). However, most of us girls have her and her brand, Kova and T., to thank for the advent of leather leggings.

Angelina Jolie: The Sound of Redemption.

Angelina Jolie started the "Salt" promotional tour in North America, looking great, though wearing black. She then had a real downfall of style during the Asian leg of the tour, and returned to stunning best here in Europe.
She surprized me by wearing color, and not her much favoured black. After having "Hummed" at her a few posts ago, this acknowlegdement is in order.
I can't wait to see what else she'll bring us before the end of this tour.


Berlin Photocall: Elie Saab and not a stitch of makeup.


Paris Premiere: Pamella Roland frock and Ferragamo pumps.



Los Angeles Premiere: Emporio Armani



London Premiere: Amanda Wakeley

Moscow Premiere: Atelier Versace

$500 Porsche New

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It loudly announced, '$500 Porsche! New!' The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke.........
but he said to himself, 'it's worth a shot.' So he went to the lady's house who was selling the Porsche and she led him into the garage.

Sure enough, there was an almost brand new Porsche. 'Wow!' the man said, 'Can I take it for a test drive?' 'Sure,' answered the lady.

Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly.

When he got back to the lady's house, he asked her, 'Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?'

Then the lady replied....with a laugh
My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me, 'You can have the house and the furniture, just sell my Porsche
and send me the money.''

The Truth about Kickass Jewellery



How many times have you had a mediocre outfit taken up a notch by adding some great jewellery? I know I have more times than I care to count. It's so much easier to throw on a skinny jean-simple -tee-all-black-ensemble and clip on a great necklace and an arsenal of wicked braclets to turn the tables. So much easier than worrying about a great outfit from scratch while you should already be out the door.
Dior makes the kind of rings girls could kill for, and posses all the prerequisites to being every fashionista's dream. The pop of color it lends your ensembles, the exellcent attention for detail, the extraordinary design...

I'm a natural born sucker for all things mythological, and a develping sucker for all things Lanvin, this craftmanship HAD to be in my tops. I mean, just look at it, you don't get any grander. If I owned a crazy, chunky, to-die-for Medusa necklace I'd throw it on everything, even Pj's.

I can imagine this Lanvin masterpiece over about a gazillion different basic-what-would-be-blah-outfits-without-it. A fitted sheath dress, skinny jeans and white shirt, a simple LBD...you name it, she'll jazz it up.



Thank you, gods of jewellery, for saving us from boring outfits.

Why the english language is hard to learn...

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Outfit of the day: Bikers and Babes

Balmain Biker Jacket
Versus by Christopher Kane tee and skirt comboDoc Marten's

The outfits that make you go hummmm

Angie, I love you to bits, you're so beautiful you break my heart, you're a wonderful woman and an amazing actress. So tell me, WHY did you wear a potato sack. A BLACK potato sack.
It's a L'Agence potato sack by the way.

Camilla Belle has been missing often on the red carpet, so imagine my disappointment when she shows up with this. I don't like it, I really don't like it. I know it's Carolina Herrera, but the skirt just screams cheap to me, especially the ruffles (shudder). Her hair is too messy as well, and I'm unconvinced with the nude heel.

Jessica Biel in Atelier Versace
I know so many of you love it, but I hate it. First, she removes the train, degrading it to a cocktail dress. Yes, the color is heavenly, the beading is spectacular, and your hair is clean. But you look boxy, and the shoes are a big miss. Not impressed. Also, the more I look at the hem, the more annoyed I get.I NEVER would have had the courage to do that.

If I could, then today I'd wear...

Oversized Grey Tee
Ethnic Bangles
Dries Van Noten Sarong Skirt
Miu Miu Dragonfly Heels